May 19, 2008 marks the 10 year anniversary of my older brothers life...
My brother took his life 10 years ago...
We had troubled childhoods and a broken home...
I believe all of this contributed to my brothers death...
Love is all he wanted but had a hard time finding it...
The Suicide of my Brother
My brother lies cruel and cold today,
He'll never touch another.
My brother lay kind and warm before.
I know I am his sister.
His troubled heart, his bleeding soul,
His tortured body lies,
Yet lived he 35 years,
and now he's closed his eyes.
His friends parade in solemn quest,
Searching the world to find,
Some meaning or some purpose in his tormented mind.
My anger and my burning rage
Conflict with loving him.
I pray for inner strength and peace,
for healing to begin.
I seek to still my soul's unrest,
To calm the hell within;
Not knowing if or how or when
Acceptance will begin.
I grieve, I mourn, I agonize
The moment of his death.
I long to feel the warming of his breath.
Consuming swells of tears arise
From depths I've never known;
The memory of his Strong embrace,
The love he's often shown.
Pictures of him living in our home obsess my mind;
Playing, fighting, laughing,crying.
Wish that I were blind!
My brother, my brother, how came you here?
What answers did you seek?
Jeff, you listened not.
Did you not hear me speak?
I had the help, if only you reached out.
You are missed every moment of everyday.. Peace be with you mom on this long weekend...